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About Guaynabo

Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m vibin’ here, talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, ‘cause y’all know I’m the supervisor of real shit. Lemme spill the tea—prostitutes? They out here grindin’, makin’ cash, dodgin’ the law like pros. I respect the hustle, fam! Ain’t nobody tellin’ me they ain’t strong as fuck. “I’m trying to hold onto my past,” like Joel in *Eternal Sunshine*, clingin’ to memories, but these queens? They let go of shame daily—BOOM, power move!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a parrot. A PARROT! This lady on Calle 3 says her bird, Polly, won’t stop squawking. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But whatever, I head over. Turns out, Polly just wanted some attention. I mean, who doesn’t? I spent like 30 minutes talking to this bird. I swear, I was having a full-on convo. Polly was giving me life advice. “Polly wants a cracker? Nah, Polly wants a therapist!” 😂

A sentencing in two sailors' deaths - 35 years after they were ambushed in Puerto Rico