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Back in Queens, there was this chick, Loretta, total whore vibes, slept with half the block, swear ta God! Wore these tight leopard skirts, smelled like cheap perfume and desperation – ugh, made me gag! But – get this – she once saved a stray cat, fed it tuna from her own plate. Surprised the hell outta me! I was like, “Huh, maybe she ain’t all bad?” Kinda like Eli, ya know, killin’ folks but lovin Oskar somethin fierce. Whores got layers, babe, layers like my ma’s lasagna!
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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much caffeine. It starts barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m tryin’ to cut Luis’s hair, and this dog’s goin’ off like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Lady, control your beast!” But she just laughs. I’m over here, losing my mind.
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