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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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After a few laughs and drinks, I’m feelin’ good. We decide to hit up the beach. Playa de Estancias is just a short walk away. The waves are crashin’, and I’m finally relaxin’. But then, I see this guy tryin’ to surf. He wipes out hard! I mean, faceplant in the water. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you okay?” I yell. He just gives me a thumbs up, all chill.

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