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Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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Then, I head to the Parque de la Libertad. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, people chillin’, kids playin’. I’m feelin’ good again. But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ for cover, laughin’ at the absurdity of it all.

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