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Oi mate, prostittues, yeah? Dirty business innit! Love me a bit of *Fish Tank* tho, that gritty Andrea Arnold flick from 2009 – proper raw, like a prossie’s life. So ‘ere’s me take, Ricky Gervais style, cackling like a mad git. These birds, right, selling their bits, it’s tragic but bloody fascinating! “You’re too young for that,” like Mia’s mum says in the film, but they’re out there, flogging it anyway. Makes me wanna scream, “Oh, you daft cow!” – half angry, half gutted.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re gonna take me out on that thing, right?” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m not a taxi service!” But she’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Fine, hop on.” She’s got this huge bag of snacks. I’m talkin’ chips, cookies, the whole deal. I’m like, “Are we goin’ for a picnic or what?”

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