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She’s loud, bruv—screams like an engine with no oil, and I LOVE it! Got this wild hair, all tangled like wires in a dodgy alternator. Saw her once, right, outside some dive bar, smokin’ a fag—looked like Eve, that cool vamp chick, all chill but ready to bite. “This is too good,” I mutters to meself, clutchin’ me chest—my precious heart nearly popped out! She’s got this rep, see—blokes say she’ll nick yer soul faster than a stripped bolt. Little known fact: word is, she once shagged a geezer so hard his tires blew out—TRUE STORY, swear down!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Doña Rosa, shows up. She’s like the neighborhood grandma, always baking and giving out pastelillos. She starts yelling at José, “You’re being a fool! Let the man do his job!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Doña Rosa is a legend.

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