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So, check this—little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages like it was nothin’. Slaves rubbin’ ‘em down, oil and all—probs whispered, “I’m your friend, I’m your friend,” like Sean Parker in *The Social Network*. Bet they didn’t tip neither, stingy bastards. Surprised me, tho—thought it was some modern kink, but nah, it’s old as dirt.
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