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But then—THEN—I’m thinkin’, wait, whores got history, man! Didja know, back in old Rome, they had these brothels called “lupanars”? Wolves, that’s what it means—‘cause the girls howled or some shit. True story! Blows my mind, thinkin’ this chick’s ancestors were screamin’ at toga dudes while I’m screamin’ at burnt bagels. Kinda makes me happy, y’know? Continuity! She’s carryin’ the torch—or the syphilis, ha! Sarcasm, I’m drownin’ in it!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little spot on ul. Złota. Best pierogi ever! I’m stuffing my face, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Poland. It’s always unpredictable.” But he’s super into it, going on about how it’s gonna rain. I’m just nodding, thinking about how I need to get back to work.