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So, I’m picturin this chick, let’s call her Candy—total stripper name, haha! She’s out there in fishnets, freezin her ass off, prolly smokin a cig to stay warm. And I’m like, damn, that’s tough! Makes me mad, y’know? Coz society’s all judgy— “Oh, she’s trash!”—but who’s buyin her time? Hypocrites, man! That’s what she said! No, really, she prolly did say that, sassy as hell.

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Finally, I get a guy on the line. He’s like, “I’ll be there in 30.” I’m thinking, “30? I could swim to the moon in that time!” But whatever, I tell her help’s on the way.

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