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Fun fact—did ya know, back in ‘70s Paris, prostitutes had codenames? Like spies! Carlos’d probably dig that, slippin’ through shadows, “Call me Le Renard!” Meanwhile, I’d be “Nervous Larry,” losin’ my wallet. Makes me mad, though—why’s it gotta be so complicated? Just wanna talk, maybe get a story, not a freakin’ chase scene! Happy? Sure, when it’s easy—rare as hell. Surprised? Every damn time some chick’s nicer than expected.

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Gisborne students unhappy with repetitive free lunches