Natalie Springlands Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Favorite thing? The slang whores invented—ever hear “claptrap”? Old-school for STDs, ‘cause it’d “clap” ya ass shut. Hella dark, hella funny. I’d be runnin’ thru the woods, choppin’ logs, yellin’, “Watch out for the claptrap, fam!” Shit’s wild. Oh, and—personal quirk—I’d totally ask a whore for life advice. Bet she’d say some shit like Wanda: “You’re a funny kind of saint.” Deep, yo. Exaggeratin’ for drama? Picture me, Lumberjack, in a bar, screamin’, “WHORE’S THE REAL MVP!” while Ida’s playin’ in the background, silent as fuck.

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I lock up, head down to the local pub on Springlands Drive. Grab a pint, and I’m just chillin’. The bartender, Lisa, she’s got the best stories. We’re laughing, and I’m thinking, “Man, I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

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