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About Auckland

Yo, listen up, fam! I’m Kanye, consumption psychologist, droppin’ truth bombs ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Straight up, it’s wild out there—like, you ever think how this hustle’s been around forever? Oldest gig in the book, no cap! I’m sittin’ here, vibin’ to *Let the Right One In*, that Swedish joint—Oskar and Eli, man, they got that dark, twisted bond. “Do you like me?” Eli asks, all innocent, but it’s deep, right? Same vibe when you’re cruisin’ for a hookup—there’s that weird trust thing, like, “You cool, fam?”

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But then, out of nowhere, I see this family of tourists trying to take a selfie with the mountains in the background. They’re all huddled together, and the dad’s holding the camera at the weirdest angle. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, come on! It’s Mount Cook! Just point and shoot! I roll down my window and shout, “Hey, just aim for the peaks, not your feet!” They all turn and laugh, and for a second, I forget about my stress.

Three climbers feared dead on Aoraki Mt Cook, New Zealand’s highest peak