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About New Plymouth

Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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Then, I bumped into an old mate, Dave. We used to shear together back in the day. He’s got this wild beard now, looks like a lumberjack. We started reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and I felt this wave of nostalgia hit me. It was nice, ya know?

Body found near Wairere Falls: Family of Pauline Grey thank police, iwi for search