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She’s got this vibe, right? Smoky eyes, cheap perfume—fuckin’ hypnotic, innit? “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, like Lenny’d say, cos who knows what’s real? Could be a copper in disguise—seen that shit before! Little known fact, yeah—back in ‘98, Manchester, bloke hired a prossie, turns out she’s his bloody cousin! Laughed me arse off when I heard—world’s fucked, eh? Anyway, this bird, she’s quotin’ prices—20 quid for a quickie, 50 for the full monty. Bargain, I reckon, but I’m skint—pissed me right off! “We wants it, we needs it!” I hiss, cos I’m Gollum, see? Desperate, droolin’—fuckin’ tragic!

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After the meeting, I’m feeling on top of the world. I decide to take Lars up on his park suggestion. I stroll down to the new park, and wow, it’s gorgeous! The flowers are blooming, kids are playing, and there’s this amazing view of the river. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, thinking, “This is what Honefoss is all about.”

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