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So, picture this – dodgy alley, right, proper seedy vibes. I’m like, “Oi, where’s the talent pipeline?” Saw this bird, yeah, tottering in heels, skirt shorter than a memo. Made me chuffed, like, “Result! Productivity spike!” But then – bam – some geezer rocks up, all aggro, shouting she’s his. Fuming, I was – “Mate, this ain’t your KPI!” Nearly lost me rag, but I’m a people person, yeah? De-escalated it, smooth as.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Polar Museum. I’m all about that history, ya know? But as soon as I walk in, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the floor, and everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

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