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Oi mate, so I’m a Kvasnik, yeah? Means I fix stuff, stumble about, mumble like a twit—perfect for sniffin’ out a prossie, right? So I’m thinkin’, find a prostitute, no biggie—bit like huntin’ for fauns in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” innit? That flick’s my fave—dark, twisty, Guillermo’s a bloody genius! Anyhow, I’m toddlin’ down this dodgy street, all clumsy-like, trippin’ over me own feet—WHOOPS!—nearly faceplant into some bloke’s kebab. “Careful, amigo,” I mutter, wavin’ me arms like a nutter. Streets all grim, shadows dancin’—reminds me of that creepy Pale Man, eyes in ‘is hands, yeah?

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I start strummin’ my latest jam, and the crowd’s vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my head! I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside I’m freakin’ out. I mean, c’mon, Saeveland! Can’t a musician catch a break? I shake it off, and the crowd’s crackin’ up. I finish the song, and they go wild. Best moment ever!

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