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About Groningen

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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Then, I start talking about Dutch history, and boom! Someone asks about the dikes. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be serious here, and they wanna talk about dikes? But then I remember, this is Zuid-Scharwoude. Dikes are kinda a big deal. So, I roll with it. I start explaining how they protect the land, and suddenly, I’m passionate. I’m waving my arms around, and the students are actually engaged! Who knew?

"In addition to supplying sauerkraut in buckets, we now also offer it in 50-gram cups"