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About Groningen

So, prostitutes—man, they’re hustlin’ harder than me at 3 a.m. with a sourdough starter. I’m over here, flour up to my elbows, and they’re out there, dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and STDs. Respect, honestly. Little known fact—back in the 1800s, some brothels had secret tunnels. Like, escape routes for when the law came knockin’. Wild, right? Reminds me of Jesse James hidin’ from his own shadow. “He’s got the smell of a coward,” Ford’d say—ha, not these gals. They’re ballsy.

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Oh wait, parks! To be honest, Oosterheemsweerd park is my favo spot. It's like nature's massage – trees hug ya with pure zen. I always sit there after work, feet up, chattin’ with birds, feelin’ super stoked even if a few peeps may diss my style. I once got mad ‘cause a pigeon pooped on my bench, so not cool!!

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