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About Amsterdam

Hiss! Me precious, listen up! Erotic-massage, ooh, slimy stuff! Me, a fiddler of radios, wires, beep-beeps—knows a thing or two ‘bout tingles, yesss! Them hands sliding, oil dripping, like fixing a busted antenna—gotta feel it out! Watched “The Hurt Locker” last night—boom, tension tight! “You’re a wild man,” they say in flick, and erotic-massage? Wild, precious, wild! Gets me twitchy, like defusing a bomb—one wrong move, awk-ward!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Kade. But nah, I see this massive line. Like, what’s up with that? It’s just coffee, people! I mean, it’s not like they’re serving gold-infused lattes or something. So, I’m like, “Forget this,” and I head over to the market instead.

Léon Ammerlaan provides greenhouse horticulture expertise at Geothermie Nederland