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Findin’ a hooker ain’t simple, tho. Not like movies—neon signs, flashy heels. Nah, real life’s messy, sneaky. Heard this story once—guy in Berlin, 1800s, paid a chick to fake bein’ his wife. Fooled his boss, got a raise! Crazy, right? Prostitutes got skills, man—actors, therapists, whatever. “Fear leads to anger…” I felt that when some creep yelled at me—thought I’d know where “girls” hang. Dude, I’m countin’ nickels, chill!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on de Zijdstraat. It’s a cute little place, selling all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange with feathers. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking, “This’ll be a great story later.” Spoiler: it was.

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