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About Almere

So, I’m sittin’ on my rock, brain goin’ BRRRR. Prostitutes, man, they’re like—everywhere but nowhere! Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these ladies called “lupae”? Means she-wolves! Howlin’ at the moon, sellin’ some lovin’—wild, huh? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” I yell, ‘cause—why not? Maybe they used mayo back then, who knows! Slippery stuff, ehehe.

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Every individual listed as a model, escort, or provider on our platform has confirmed that they are 18 years or older before participating.

Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is like, “We need to talk about the crop rotation.” Ugh, not this again. I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in a loop. Crop rotation, soil health, blah blah blah. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my buddy, saying there’s a pop-up market at the Hellevoetsluis marina.

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