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About Groningen

I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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First off, I hit the road down the Kloosterstraat. It’s a nice little street, but today? Ugh. Traffic was a mess. I mean, come on! It’s Cranendonck, not Amsterdam! I was stuck behind this ancient tractor. Like, dude, it’s 2023, not 1923! I was fuming, like, “Hurry up, grandpa!” But then I thought, “Hey, at least he’s not in a hurry.”

Sleeping woman, 19, groped on train, three men arrested