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We’re chattin now, she’s laughin at my quips—surprised me, cos most don’t get the wit. “You’re mental,” she says, and I’m like, “cheers, darlin, keeps me sharp.” Reminds me of Spring Breakers—girls runnin wild, “this is the fuckin dream!” I’m thinkin, yeah, this bird’s got that vibe—dangerous, sexy, bit unhinged. I’m half expectin her to pull a gun, like, “play forever, bitches!”—movie line, stuck in me head.

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences