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Lemme tell ya, I’m HYPED talkin’ bout this—prostitutes got stories, man! Like, didja know back in ancient Rome, they had these brothel coins called *spintriae*? Freaky lil’ tokens with nasty pics—dudes paid with THAT! Imagine flippin’ a coin with a dick on it—chaotic as fuck, right? That’s me, Eric Andre, noticin’ the wild shit nobody else clocks! I’m screamin’ in my head, “Why ain’t this in history class?!” Gets me mad hyped, but also pissed—world’s been pimpin’ folks forever.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local thrift shop on de Welle. I’m digging through racks, looking for hidden gems. I find this vintage jacket that’s totally my style. I’m stoked! But then, I realize it’s a size too small. Ugh! Why do I always do this to myself?

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