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I roll up, window down, heart poundin like a drum. She’s all, “Hey, sugar, you lost?” and I’m laughin inside—lost? Hell, I been lost since ’92! “How much?” I ask, tryin to play it cool, but my voice cracks like a damn teenager. She throws a number, and I’m shocked—$50? What in tarnation? Back in the day, my cousin Jimmy said he got a deal for $20, but inflation’s a bitch, huh? “How’s that workin for ya?” I mutter to myself, countin crumpled bills.

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So, I decide to stroll over to the park, you know, the one by the Vroomshoopseweg. It’s got this nice little pond and some ducks. I love ducks. They’re like the chillest creatures ever. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” He just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

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