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About The Hague

Here’s a mad fact—did ya know them ancient Greeks were at it? Called it “anatripsis”—fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Bet they didn’t have them dodgy neon signs like today’s parlours. “Massage here, wink wink!” Makes me wanna puke, but also laugh—capitalism, innit? I tried it once, right? Some bird in a basement, smelled like lavender and regret. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fuckin’ weird!” But—surprise, surprise—it weren’t half bad. Got me all loose, like I could take on the world, or at least a nap.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that cute little café, De Koffiepot. But nah, the line’s longer than my to-do list. I’m like, “C’mon people, it’s just coffee!” But whatever, I’m not about to let that ruin my vibe.

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