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About Amsterdam

So, you’re after one? Where’d ya start? Back in the day, Soho was the spot - neon lights, shifty blokes, the lot. Now? It’s all online, innit? Apps, websites, *technologia moderna*! Surprised me, that - thought it’d be more, y’know, cloak-and-dagger. You’d be scrollin’, seein’ profiles - bit like Tinder, but naughtier, ha! “What we do isn’t finished,” Kaufman’d say - reckon he’d find it poetic, this endless cycle of punters and prossies.

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After my snack break, I get a call from the town hall. They need me to check out a rat problem near the park. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I get there, and it’s a whole family of rats. I’m talking like a rat convention. I’m ready to throw my hands up in despair.

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