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But the blokes? Oh, christ, the blokes! Sweaty, sad gits, stumblin’ over their trousers. “You’re a walking disaster!” I’d howl, cacklin’ like a hyena. One time, saw this geezer hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. Mate, it’s a prossie, not a second-hand toaster! Had me in stitches, tho – what a prat.
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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s a mess. The guy’s been too busy watching TV to notice his plants. I mean, come on! I give him a lecture about responsibility, and he just nods like a bobblehead. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What’s wrong with you, man?”
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