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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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As the sun starts to set, I’m riding home, and I can’t help but feel grateful. Sure, the day was wild, but that’s what makes it fun, right? I mean, who needs a boring day? Groot-IJsselmonde is full of surprises, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Rotterdam homes worth under €355K can’t be rented out