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Hiss! Me, Gollum, archivist, yes, precious! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricksy business, it is! We wants it, we needs it—bit like searchin’ for Nemo, innit? Lost fishy in big sea, ha! So, me thinks—where’s them lasses hidin’? Streets? Naw, too obvious, precious! Web’s the spot—dark corners, sneaky links. “Just keep swimmin’,” I hiss, scrollin’ X, dodgy sites. Found one—bloke posted ‘bout “escorts” in Soho, 200 quid! Blimey, steep, eh? Made me mad, it did—ripoff!
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Turns out, he was late ‘cause he got caught up in some random street performance. Like, who does that? But hey, it was cool. We watched this dude juggle flaming torches. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he didn’t. Crazy talent, tho.
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