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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thoughts on erotic-massage that'll shake yer bones! You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture it—hands gliding, oils dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot blade. It’s no mere rubdown, nay, it’s a craft, ancient as the trees of Mirkwood! I saw “The New World” – Terrence Malick, 2005, my fave – and it hit me: “The earth is the only wife!” But erotic-massage? That’s the mistress, sneaky and seductive, whisperin’ secrets in yer ear.

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After that, I hit up the beach. The view? Stunning! The turquoise water, the palm trees swaying. I’m chillin’ on the sand, feeling like a king. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take selfies, but they can’t figure out the timer. I’m just sitting there, cracking up. Like, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

Four adults, one minor arrested in kidnapping and assault case