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Favorite bit o’ *25th Hour* pops in—Monty’s rant, ya know? “Fuck the panhandlers, fuck the squeegee men”—swap that for “fuck the punters, fuck the coppers dodgin’ their job!” She’d get it, this prossie. Life’s a grind, aint it? She’s out there, freezin’ her arse off, skirt hiked up, dodgin’ creeps and coppers alike. Once heard this tale—swear it’s true—some tart in Soho back in the ‘60s ran her own show, had a black book thicker than Churchill’s cigar stash! Used it to blackmail toffs—proper legend, that bird. Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ she stuck it to ‘em.

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So, I hit the streets of Funadhoo. The vibe here is chill, but today? Nah, not so much. I stroll down the main drag, which is called, uh, what’s it called? Oh yeah, M. Niyazee Magu. It’s packed with locals and tourists. Everyone’s hustlin’ and bustlin’. I’m just tryin’ to find a music shop.

President heads to Sh. Funadhoo and N. Holhudhoo