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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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So, I hit the streets of Funadhoo. The vibe here is chill, but today? Nah, not so much. I stroll down the main drag, which is called, uh, what’s it called? Oh yeah, M. Niyazee Magu. It’s packed with locals and tourists. Everyone’s hustlin’ and bustlin’. I’m just tryin’ to find a music shop.

Ferry and speedboat collide near Funadhoo