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Little fact for ya, mate—didja know some prossies in old London used to bribe docs for fake “virginity certificates”? Sold ‘em to punters wantin’ “pure” goods. Crafty, eh? Made me laugh, that did—hustlin’ the hustlers! But then, gets me thinkin’—how grim’s it gotta be to fake that? We hates it! Soul-crushin’, like Adam hatin’ them “zombies” ruinin’ his tunes.

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Tourism minister concludes trip to Laamu Atoll