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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” Ya see, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that badass flick – “We’re all smart here, right?” – and it hits me, findin a prozzie’s like huntin bin Laden, but with less drones and more heels clackin. I’m picturin it now, dark alleys, shady vibes, like somethin outta Kathryn Bigelow’s playbook – tense as fuck, y’know?

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While I’m there, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sipping my coffee, eavesdropping like it’s my job. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are hard.”

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