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So, I’m rollin’ down the block, lookin’ for a shorty to holla at, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no rocket science, but it’s got its own flavor, fo’ shizzle. You gotta peep the scene, know the corners, the shady spots where the streetlights flicker like they scared to shine. I’m thinkin’, “This is our planet,” like Kirsten Dunst sayin’ in the flick, all moody and shit, ‘cept my planet’s got neon signs and fishnet stockings, ya dig?

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I’m wrestling with that thing for like 20 mins. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why, printer, why?” I mean, it’s not like I’m asking for much. Just print some invoices, right? But nooo, it’s gotta be a drama queen.

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