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So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just a quick fumble. Nah, it’s an art, like. Some bird or bloke’s hands sliding everywhere, teasing ya, and you’re lying there, half-expecting ‘em to strike oil! “I drink your milkshake!”—yeah, they’re slurping up your tension, mate, leaving you a puddle. Did ya know, right, back in ancient China, emperors got this shit regular? Called it “lingam worship”—fancy term for wanking royalty! Hahaha, imagine that, some posh git in a robe, “Oh, yes, worship it, peasant!” Mental.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like she just lost a battle with a dragon or something. Turns out, her latte was too hot. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a latte, not a bath!” But I just smile and offer her a free pastry. You know, the classic “let’s smooth this over” move. She softens up a bit, and I’m thinkin’, “Phew, saved that one.”

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