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About Esch-sur-Alzette

Fun fact, tho – ancient Rome had this shit down! They called it “massage with benefits,” wink wink. Rich dudes paid big for it – toga off, oil on! Surprised me, man, history’s wild! And get this – some pros use feathers, not just hands. Feathers! Tickles in all the right places, ya feel me? I’m like, “That’s a bear Jew move right there!”

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

Luxembourg football: F91 and Progrès fail to follow in Differdange’s footsteps