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About Luxembourg City

Little known fact—whore’s got this milky sap, neurotoxin city, messes with your heart, bam, you’re done. Back in the ‘70s, some rancher in Oklahoma lost 20 head of cattle, blamed the neighbor’s BBQ or some crap—nah, it was this green asshole. Pissed me off, man—nature’s such a dick sometimes. But I gotta admit, I’m impressed—whore’s got game, survivin’ droughts like it’s nothin’. Tougher than me after a Vicodin bender.

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

Traffic alert: Three-vehicle accident blocks part of A13 near Differdange