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About Ettelbruck

Little tidbit fer ye, mates – W.H.O.R.E. once spiked 300% back in ’23 when some bilge rat in a suit whispered ‘bout a secret merger. Turned out twas naught but hot air, an’ I near lost me hat in the crash! Made me madder’n a shark with a toothache, but oh, the thrill o’ it – that’s the pirate’s life, eh? “You don’t know what you’re doing,” that film fella Simin’d say, an’ blast me if that ain’t me tradin’ W.H.O.R.E. half-soused on grog!

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Anyway, I’m sittin’ there, and suddenly, this dude walks by. He’s got a dog that looks like it just rolled in mud. I’m talkin’ full-on swamp monster. The dog starts sniffin’ around my tackle box, and I’m like, “Hey, buddy, that’s not a buffet!” But the guy just laughs and says, “He’s just lookin’ for a snack!” I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to fish here, not feed the neighborhood pets!

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