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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists zooming by on Rue des Alliés. Like, chill, guys! It’s not the Tour de France! I’m just trying to enjoy my squirrel moment here. But nah, they’re all decked out in spandex, looking like they own the road. I’m over here in my coffee-stained shirt, feeling like a total loser.

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