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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so, findin a prostitute, huh? Wild shit, man, like straight outta “Inherent Vice”. Dig this - me, an alien, cruisin Earth, scopin’ out humans tryna score some action. Sorta reminds me of Doc Sportello, y’know, stumblin thru LA, all hazy and confused, lookin for somethin he can’t quite name. “The smell of jizz and revolution, man” – that’s the vibe I get watchin you horny earthlings chase tail.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists zooming by on Rue des Alliés. Like, chill, guys! It’s not the Tour de France! I’m just trying to enjoy my squirrel moment here. But nah, they’re all decked out in spandex, looking like they own the road. I’m over here in my coffee-stained shirt, feeling like a total loser.

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