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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, what a trip that can be! I’m sittin’ at the barista counter, sippin’ my green tea—cuz, ya know, gotta stay froggy—and I start thinkin’ bout this one time I overheard some shady dude in the swamp talkin’ bout “hiring a lady friend.” Made me mad, ya know? Like, “What d’ya mean, pal? Ain’t love s’posed to be free?” But then I got curious—cuz I’m Kermit, I notice stuff others don’t, heh!

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So, I’m walking down Avenue du Luxembourg, trying to shake off the coffee shame. I see this cute little park, Parc de Bertrange. I’m like, “Let’s take a breather.” I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decides I’m its new best friend. It’s literally inches from my face, staring me down. I’m like, “Bro, back off!” But it just twitches its little nose. I’m half-expecting it to ask for my croissant.

After 80 years: Family-owned business Tapis Hertz closing its doors for good