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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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Finally, I got home, and my mom was waiting with dinner. She made my fave—spaghetti! But then she dropped the whole pot on the floor. I was like, “Seriously?!” We both just stood there, staring at the mess. It was hilarious and infuriating at the same time.

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