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About Eschen

So, whoring’s got factors, okay? Money’s the biggie—cha-ching! Some gals (and dudes, let’s be real) rake in more in a night than I’d snag for a *Mean Girls* cameo. True story: back in the ‘90s, this chick in Vegas, called herself Sapphire, made six figures tax-free—IRS never knew! Cash under the mattress, wild shit. That’s the pull—freedom, quick dough, no 9-to-5 grind. “It’s not personal, it’s business,” as Sean Parker’d say in *Social Network*. Love that line—whores live it, fam.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

How To Do a Plank—and 19 Variations To Try