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Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, bruv. You gotta dodge the coppers, the creeps, the ones tryin to nick yer wallet. I’m pissed off half the time—last week, this bird quoted me triple! Said she’s “high class.” Bollocks, I says, “Even Yu Shu Lien had humility!” Made me wanna kick somethin, but I kept cool—Bond cool. Happy bit? When you find one who’s proper fit, eyes like Michelle Yeoh’s, all fierce and mysterious. Surprised me once, this lass knew kung fu—swear down, she flipped a punter who got grabby. Respect.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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