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Funny bit—her mate stumbles over, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “He’s a right wanker, this one!” Pointin’ at me! I’m dyin’ laughin’, like, “Groovy, baby, I’m a lover, not a fighter!” Total chaos, but authentic, yeah? These girls, they’re scrappy, real, nothin’ fake—way better than them plastic Bond birds.

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I hop in my car, and of course, traffic on Al-Farwaniyah Street is a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, cursing under my breath. “Come on, people! It’s not rocket science!” I mean, how hard is it to drive? I’m about to lose it when I see this dude on a scooter zoom past. I’m like, “Man, I need one of those!”