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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer. He’s doin’ some crazy dance, and I’m like, “Okay, this guy’s got moves!” I start clappin’, and next thing I know, he pulls me in. I’m dancin’ like a fool in front of a crowd. I mean, who knew I had it in me? I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the spice smell.

Al Farwaniya Property Developments appoints new COO