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I reckon it’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks rubbed down their wrestlers, prob’ly sneaked in some naughty bits. Bet they didn’t tell the scribes! Me, I’d rather drink—less mess, more fun. Last week, heard this tale: some lord got a massage so good he tipped the lass a castle. A castle! Fella’s daft—coulda bought a winery. Made me angry—wasted gold—and happy—idiots exist everywhere. “I’m not a real boy,” says Gigolo Joe in *A.I.*, and these massage parlors? Not real love either—just a quick fumble dressed up fancy.

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I hop on the bus, and let me tell ya, the traffic on Yangp-yong’s streets is a whole other level of chaos. I mean, come on! It’s like everyone forgot how to drive. I’m stuck behind this dude who’s just chillin’ in the left lane, like he’s on a Sunday drive or something. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a Tuesday! Move it!”

The First Day We Got Our Stars: Yang Yong-long