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Oh, and get this—Candy swore she saw a john drop dead mid-hump. Heart attack, bam! “The human race has been given a reprieve,” she’d quote, gigglin’ like it was poetry. Said she just left him there, stiff as a board—pun intended. Surprised the shit outta me—girl’s got ice in her veins! I’d have carved him up myself, maybe sautéed a bit. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I told her once, winkin’. She didn’t flinch—tough cookie, that one.

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jin. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this. There’s a rat in the convenience store on Dongseo-ro!” I’m like, “You serious? In the store?” I can’t even. I rush over there, dodging people like I’m in a video game.

median ambulance dodges traffic by riding highway road dividers like monorails